The Art of Gift Giving

I love to get presents. I really do and it makes me wonder why more of you haven't sent me some of the items on my fetish outfit and equipment wish list. Oh well. Anyway, I hope everyone had a great holiday. As I said before, you don't have to be Christian to enjoy the cultural aspect of the day and I know I enjoyed seeing the lights and having fun with friends. It was a good time.

Still, the whole present issue. You know a lot of stores do wedding registry now. It makes sense to me. You go in and say what you want and people buy it for you. Everyone wins. You get stuff you wanted and not useless crap that ends up being used as doorstops or being re-gifted and they get to quickly and easily get you something that they know you're going to love rather than racking their brains for days or weeks trying to figure out the perfect gift for you because their mind reading skills happen to be malfunctioning at the time. I'm surprised actually that stores don't do registry for other events. Seriously, wouldn't it make sense to have a Christmas registry? You go to a store, register your crap and then tell all your friends to go there to buy your stuff. They do the same thing, everyone wins. Of course it probably would be even easier just to buy yourself what you want, they buy what they want and then everyone really wins. Or maybe we should all just hold on to our money and buy stuff we want when we want it and not worry about the whole giving thing.

Of course that would ruin the surprise of the thing. I love good suprises. I hate bad ones. That's why the registry is so important, even for birthdays! You know what really sucks though? Someone gives you a gift that just really sucks. You open things thing, take it out of the box and it looks like a pair of socks that came off an alley cat that was dead in the road for three weeks before some enterprising guy thought to make socks out of them. Now seriously, are you going to tell your friend that he's a fucking idiot for buying this for you? That's just a little bit ungrateful don't you think? So no, you have to suddenly become an academy award winning actress (or actor if you have a penis and no tits) and pretend like its the greatest thing you've ever seen only to spare the feelings of your friend who clearly must be mildly retarded to get you such a stupid present to begin with. Of course most people aren't such good actors. If we were, we'd be sitting around in our living rooms watching each other instead of the television. So its pretty obvious most of the time when someone is getting saddled with something they can't stand. "Oh, it's a pair of dead cat socks, um, thanks Bob, they're, um just what I've um always um wanted". Yeah right. You were already trying to figure out how to either destroy, donate or regift them before they were completely out of the box.

I think that's part of why people love giving these gift cards now. It's the big thing. I don't get it at all. See, they don't want to give cash because that's too impersonal so instead they're giving a piece of plastic that works like cash but isn't nearly as good because it can only be used in one place and has all kinds of limitations to it. Worse still is the thing that the stores who sell the gift cards love. The fact that either you have to spend more money than the gift card is worth in order to get the full value from it in which case the store makes extra money, or you spend less than the full value in which case the store gets free money from the left over. Besides, statistics show that 15-20% of gift cards go completely unused. The people at Best Buy and Home Depot love that you know.

I guess most of the year gifts work out okey because its not an immediate reciprical proposition. Someone gives you a birthday present and you have months to come up with something for them. Of course if you forget or get cheapie on them, they might get annoyed and leave you off their birthday present list next year. See that's the problem with Christmas gifts though. Sure they should be given from the heart and without expectation but lets face it, most of us aren't going to keep giving gifts year after year to people who don't recipricate in some way and worse maybe totally ungrateful. There may be certain exceptions for close family or friends, but otherwise it just doesn't work. So in gift giving even if your heart is pure and you expect nothing in return, it still puts a lot of pressure on the other person. I had a friend who wanted to go out with me last Friday night and said he and his wife had a present for me. Now I sent them a card but I didn't get them an actual present. That may have been fine with them but suddenly it put all this pressure on me to have to go out and find something for them. After all, it wouldn't be right to show up empty handed if they were going to give me something. But then you get more pressure of what if my present is cheap compared to theirs or worse, what if I overspend and theirs is cheap compared to mine, making them feel bad. And even if they are the same value, what if there's a misinterpretation of value or what if they don't like it. This is just for one set of friends mind you, imagine having this issue with a big family and a large circle of friends. It's no wonder people lose their minds and get totally stressed out during the holidays. If I got presents for everyone like that, I'd lose my shit too. Luckily I generally only get a few small things for some close friends and thats it. Seriously, it's a holiday it's not worth losing your mind over.

What I really want though is for fetish stores to come up with a gift registry. I have to believe one of these places like Pleasure Chest or Stockroom already has one and I've just overlooked it. Granted, that's the kind of thing you really only share with your friends who are into bdsm and sexual fun. It's a little wierd to say to Grandma Nanihiki that what you really want for your birthday is a latex catsuit and a dildo with vibrating nodules. Of course my grandma is pretty cool and given that she is a woman and understands and woman's needs, she may end up surprising me. Still, there's somethings I'd rather not involve my family in you know. Nevertheless, if you hear about a registry at one of these cool bondage stores, let me know, maybe that way when next year rolls around, my stocking will be filled with tight shiny latex and exciting bdsm equipment rather than old socks that look like dead cat feet.

Maliia's Thoughts on Beauty Queen Makeout Sessions

I don't think there's a lot I can really say about the whole Miss USA issue that hasn't been said already. I was talking about this with a friend and while I agreed that drugs are bad and its particularly bad for a role model type to be taking them if in fact that's what happened. But seriously, if we can't teach girls that it's perfectly acceptable in our society to make out with other girls, particularly when they're gorgeous beauty queens, then what has our country really come to? Believe me that making out with girls is just as fun for the girls as it is for all the horny men who are standing around watching them rub their tongues together. I know this from lots and lots of personal experience of making out with hot girls in public.

See, this is why I don't think I ever had a shot at being a beauty queen. I could have been one too. One of my friends when I was growing up was Miss Maui and went on to be a finalist at Miss Hawaii. I could have done that. I'm a lot cooler than she is and not to be too modest or anything but I'm told I'm a lot sexier too! Of course at the time I was busy surfing and trying to prove that I could kick any guy's ass. Hey, when you're a petite girl and 5'2 or so and involved with a very male dominated sport, sometimes you have to get more assertive and fight for your place you know? So that's what I was doing. Even then though I had already started playing with other girls and I was starting to realize my interest in bondage. I knew I loved to be tied or chained up and I knew I loved to be controlled, I was just starting to figure out the details of what I specifically liked and didn't like and why I liked it.

Oh sure, I got invited to compete for Miss Maui but I turned it down. My mother tried to force me into a beauty pageant once but it was like a trip to the dentist for me. After that I never wanted to go back. My little sister Analei got into all that girly girl stuff. She loved the pageants, fashion shows, Barbie Dolls. The whole thing. Anyway, it's just as well that I never got into being a beauty queen because I'm pretty sure that my lifestyle would make Miss USA look positively tame. Maybe that's really what she needs to restore her girl next door rolemodel image. Have someone like me come along who wears tight fetish clothes and skimpy slut outfits in public, loves to be chained up and humliated and practically fucks anything that moves, male or female, and suddenly she's starting to look pretty wholesome!

Frankly I think the pageant is stuck in the past anyway and needs an update. Sure, they've got the evening gown and the swimsuit competition, but where you really start to seperate the contestants should be in competitions for stripper dancing and tongue kissing the other beauty queens. I'm pretty sure the ratings would go through the roof, though the pageant may have to switch to HBO to really show the detail of the new competitions.

I'm glad she got a second chance, maybe this means if I see her in a bar with her legs wrapped around a dance pole, she'll want to come make out with me and maybe let me use my strap-on on her. Besides, do we really want some whitewashed do-gooder who yammers on about world peace and feeding the hungry representing the USA or wouldn't a hot chick who spends most of the pageant trying to nail Miss Thailand be a far better choice. I'm going with the second one, I'd definately watch that!

Maliia's Thoughts on That Whole Holiday Thing

There are people I send Christmas cards to every year. I used to have a much bigger list but over the years I discovered that most of the people I sent cards to never sent me anything. I didn't send the card for something in return, but I always felt like some acknoweledgement that they even received a card from me would have been good. Even if in a phone conversation they just said something like "hey Maliia, thanks for the card". See, that would have been fine. So now I have a very small list of people I send cards to and an even smaller list of people I will give a present to. I just don't make a big deal out of the whole having to run around and shop and give gifts to people thing.

Maybe part of it is the fact that I'm not Christian so for me its just not so important to max out your credit card so you can give tons of stuff to all the people you care about, but I suspect that I probably have a much better understanding of the holiday and the season than most of those people who are filling the malls and fighting over the last Elmo doll for their bratty little four year old or shooting each other over a Playstation 3. The holiday season, and that's any of the holidays you want to throw into this mix, aren't about what you give people in terms of material items but rather in terms of your heart and love. A lot of people get confused on this point and think that their love and thought can be shown best by what they buy the person and how much they spend. It's not just their fault though, on the receiving end people are just as guilty of associating love with whether or not they got what they wanted. The truth though is that while salesmen will try to use pitches like "don't you want to give the best for your family" (who is going to say no to that one? No, I want to give my family the worst and run off to Aruba with a Playboy model with the money I save) and comercials and all the rest will try to convince you that the best way to show your love is to max out your credit card, the truth is that showing love and caring doesn't cost money, it costs time and it requires a certain level of emotional openness I suppose.

Maybe this is just the Buddhist in me, you know, we go for that whole non-materialism angle which works great for me until I see a new shiny tight latex fetish outfit I want and then it all goes out the window. And I'll be the first to tell you that if someone were to get me an outfit like that I would be totally appreciative and think that person was totally thoughtful and must really care about me. But you know, even if someone just gave me a card or spent some time talking with me, I'd still think they cared about me, and no less than if they had gotten me that fetish outfit to cover my hot little brown body.

It always amazes me how some people feel the need to be nicer during this time. They think that the Christmas season is the time when they should let things go and try to be nicer to their fellow man. I'm not the first person to say this and I'm pretty sure that the point isn't to be nicer during December, particularly in high stress situations including office Christmas parties (which fully half of office workers say they wish they didn't have to go to either for obligation or fear of doing something stupid) and of course shopping, but rather to try and be a little nicer throughout the year and more patient too. Let's face it, there's a lot of stupid people out there. By definition, half the people out there are dumber than average so we need to realize the importance of taking time to let others, even people we may not know very well, know that they deserve respect too.

So I was looking around for cards to send with a friend and my friend said that I should just get non denominational holiday cards. I thought about this but I realized that all my friends I'm sending the cards to are Christian. Christmas is their holiday, what's wrong with acknowledging that? Sure, it's inappropriate to send a Christmas card to a Jewish person but its just too watered down and lame to send some covering all the bases card to a Christian person rather than one that really wishes them to have THEIR holiday be happy you know? It's like buying a generic happy birthday card for your mother when really, you should be looking in the section that says Happy Birthday Mom. You know, mothers like to see that you put a little extra effort into making it specific to them. Not because the mom part makes a difference but because it shows you put some thought into it rather than just grabbing the first card off the rack that looked like it had a picture of a birthday cake on it. Well, to me, sending cards that acknowledge the right holiday to the right person is the same way. I guess the arguement could be made that maybe you don't know someone's religion or you don't want to risk getting it wrong or you're a company doing a mass mailing or whatever, but still, I think if you can get it right, you should make an effort to. That's the whole point of a card in the first place isn't it? To say to the other person, hey, I was thinking of you, I went and made an effort for you to show you that I care about you. That's what it should say to me at least.

I was kind of glad to see more stores and commercials acknowledging Christmas this year. Now they're more and more saying Christmas Sale and stuff. That's cool I think. 85% of Americans are Christian, it makes sense to appeal to the broader market as long as you don't alienate the other 15%. Having a nativity scene or a Christmas tree is cool to me, as long as you don't say well, we'll have this but if those Jewish guys with the cool little caps want a menorah, fuck them. I wouldn't require it, but I definately would leave the door open for the option. Of course this stuff can be taken too far too. I was in the grocery store the other day and I bought some stuff and the cashier said to me "Merry Christmas". I thought that was nice you know? I'm not Christian but that's okey, it was a nice gesture. But then her next line was stepping out of the bounds of appropriate. She said "Jesus is the reason for the season".

Now I know Jesus is the whole reason for Christmas. Never mind the fact that most historians think Jesus was probably born in March and those clever Christian marketers moved the celebration to December to coincide with the pagan holiday of Winter Solstace which is on the 21st. But there's really two kinds of Christmas holidays. There's the religious one of course which is church and Jesus and the whole faith aspect of it which is something that Christians everywhere can enjoy and really feel like an important part of. Then there's what I call the American cultural aspect. I guess it's not just American given the fact that Americans export so much culture to the rest of the world, but seriously. What the hell does Santa Claus have to do with Jesus? Nothing! Our current incarnation of Santa was invented by the Coca Cola company based on a story of a monk who would give food and clothes to poor kids. The whole sleigh, fat belly, red suit, black belt, white beard. It's all Coca Cola. And each year we have more and more cultural additions to this holiday. Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, Frosty the Snowman. Hey I love them too but what they hell do they have to do with Jesus? Nothing!

And that brings me to my point. I love the Christmas season. Not for the religious aspect and certainly not for the shopping or the false kindness that people feel obligated to show, but for the cultural part. I love the way people decorate their houses with lights. I'd never have a Christmas tree, but I love the way people take such care to make them special and I think putting presents under them is too cool. Peppermint Candy Canes totally rock, yes I love Christmas cartoons, even Rudolph and Frosty, and for me Christmas parties are a blast though unless it's a bondage party, and some are (it's fun to be tied up by a string of lights or made into a human Christmas Tree) I do have to tone down my whole fetish outlook just a pinch. I'm a huge fan of Christmas songs though like Thanksgiving turkey, I tend to load up on them in December, and by the time Christmas actually rolls around, I'm so sick of them that I don't want to hear them again for another year. So that's my outlook on this whole holiday thing. Hey, everyone looks at it a different way and that's totally fine with me. This is just how I see things. No matter how you see it though, I hope you have a great (insert name of your holiday here) and while being naughty might make Santa stay away from your house, it can have some nice fringe benefits including a spanking!

Fetishwear for 60% Off? I Don't Think So!

Everyone makes such a big deal out of Christmas shopping. I mean I'm not surprised or anything, it is the culture we live in and I guess a big part of it is that all the stores hype it up big time to squeeze more money from your wallet. I've always thought it was ironic that you read a newspaper or watch a news show and they always try to give you all this advice about not overspending and not charging your card too much and how not to get in too much debt for the holidays and then on the opposite page or the very next commercial is a great big ad about how your loved one will really enjoy some super overpriced piece of garbage that was marked up 200% and now has been marked down up to 60%. It's like they're saying here's our advice, but not really because the people who pay our bills really do want you to run up your credit cards and shop till you drop.

I like shopping usually, especially for myself though I don't like to shop around holiday time because the stores are way too crowded and often the sales people aren't as nice oryou don't get as good of service because of the crowds. I actually tend to do a lot less shopping around this time. I always get a crack out of those two words though when they have the sales. You know, "up to". I had to teach my friend about that. She got all excited because one of her favorite stores was having an after Thanksgiving sale and everything in the store was "up to" 60% off. I tried to explain to her that this meant the worst pieces of garbage in the store that they couldn't give away would be 60% off, the middle grade stuff that was moving but slowly would be 10-20% and anything that was new or halfway decent wouldn't be on sale but you'd end up buying it anyway because after all, there you are in the store. That's what the store is counting on anyway. So we went to the store because sometimes you just can't explain these things to people, they have to have the experience for themselves and sure enough the stuff that was 60% off was pretty crappy. We were told that they had a better selection earlier but that it was all gone now. We got there an hour after opening so either they had hoards of people who didn't have a Star Wars or Playstation line to get into so they decided to wait in front of the Banana Republic instead in the hopes of finally getting that new pair of capri pants they've been hearing rumors about for months, or there just wasn't that much to start with.

I love to window shop online though. I don't have the hassle of the stores and rude sales people and pushing and wondering if there's something better or cheaper or will the item go on sale tommorow for 20% off. I hate that a lot when you buy something today and there's a big sale tommorow. Sometimes the sales people will tell you not to buy something and they'll hold it for you until the next day or if they're really good, they'll just go ahead and give you the discount early, but those kinds of people are few and far between. Most sales people just aren't that interested in giving good service and for what a lot of them are paid, I guess they don't have a lot of motivation to do so.

The problem with actually buying online is mostly a sizing issue. We've discussed before the fact that I'm a very small girl and so it can be hard sometimes to find things that fit me right. People I go shopping with sometimes will see a shirt that on the rack looks like it would be too small for a 4 year old girl, but on me it's just way too big. I of course having the experience can often just look at it and get a feel for whether or not it will work. Let's face it, as America grows fatter and the people get bigger, the odds are that there will be fewer things that fit me, not more. Especially if clothing makers start upping the sizes on me. Then I'm totally screwed and I'll have to start running around naked. Which I guess isn't such a bad thing since I love to show off my cute little brown body so much and then there's the added benefit of all the money I'd save on clothes. Still, I'm pretty sure the police would come lock me up if I did that, even if they were impressed by the show and reluctant to end it.

I've tried buying some things online before and the sizing rarely works out. There are a few online stores that have very precise sizing charts and liberal return policies that make it easy, but generally its a pain. Especially for fetish outfits. I go to websites like Stockroom and a few others and I see all these gorgeous outfits that I would look SO hot it. Tight and shiny rubber, latex, leather. Delicious. It looks like they might have my size too. But it's hard to tell. Will their size 0 be the same as the size 0 I get from the Bebe store? And even if it is, how do I know the way the thing is cut will work for my body shape? I wouldn't mind giving it a try if they would let me return the thing and not pay for shipping back and not charge anything if it's returned, but a lot of these fetish stores charge a 15% restocking fee if it doesn't work out. Well that's a lot of money and can add up.

So as much as I like to shop, the next couple of weeks are like a shopping vacation for me. Don't worry though, I'll be back on the job again next month! Hey, someone has to keep the demand up for the petites section, otherwise the stores might stop selling it all together. Then my only option really will be to run around naked, which since I'm a total exhibitionist, might not be such a bad thing after all.

A Crisis of Options

I decided that everyone was right and when a laptop computer starts making such loud clattering noises that it wakes up the neighbors, it may be time to get something to replace it because it might not be around much longer. So I did all kinds of research and figured out that it would cost a lot more money to fix this thing than it's worth so then I looked into buying a new one and learned all about what I wanted and needed and who made what and had a good reputation and all that. The idea was of course that I wanted to get the most computer I could for the least money. That makes sense right?

This whole process though has been very frustrating for me. It's what I call a crisis of options. There are hundreds of companies out there that make laptop computers. Then for each company you've got several different models and then in each model there are tons of different configurations you can buy. It took me a while to figure out why the exact same model of computer had price ranges at the same store amounting to hundreds of dollars. So this was a lot to look at. I learned more about what I needed though and was able to narrow things down but still, I was faced with several hundred choices that met my basic criteria. How the hell does anyone make a decision about this stuff? It seems impossible and maybe throwing a dart at a board would be easier.

I was able to eliminate some brands because their service is rumored to be horrible or their machines break down a lot or are highly proprietary. That still left me with way too many choices. I then raised my standards a little bit and that eliminated more. I'm sure there are some choices I overlooked in all my elimination, especially if those choices weren't presented through the sites I was looking at which were Yahoo and Cnet, but I was able to narrow it down to three choices, then two, then finally one.

Now this is where I got thrown off track. I was still kind of hazy, I thought I was between two choices and I was going to go into the stores to try them out per one of the suggestions in the comments of my web log and I started talking to the guy and he suggested another model that seemed to have almost everything I wanted. Sure there were a couple of things that weren't perfectly what I wanted but the price was really good. I mean much cheaper than I was looking at before for similar things. So I jumped in and bought it right there.

That's not usually like me. On a big purchase like this I usually research the thing to death on the internet but maybe its coz I'm a girl or maybe he's just a great salesman but even though I didn't research prices on the internet to see if in fact I really was getting a great deal, Mr. Best Buy had me at hello and I jumped in with two feet.

When I got home though I didn't give the purchase a second thought. There was no rush to check alternative prices on the net for the same model. I was comfortable in my decision. Then I got a call from my bank. They said the security code on my credit card wasn't put in correctly for the transaction, they were calling in case it was a fraud attempt and said that they couldn't put the transaction through. The order was off and cancelled. Stick a fork in it, it's done!

At first I thought well, maybe I should just go back and order it again, but then I started to see it as an opportunity to do that research I failed to do before. So I started looking around and sure enough I could get the same model for $200 less online, especially since shipping was free and there were no sales taxes if I bought that way. Well gosh, color me stupid. I then looked more at the model and realized that the graphics processor probably wouldn't do what the guy in the store said it would. I read opinions from people who said they tried to play games like I would play and the computer ran them slow and couldn't handle them very well. Hmmm, well that just won't work for me, now will it.

So I went back to the original models I was contemplating before I was sidetracked at the store. Did more research and finally decided that the HP8430 sounded like a good computer for me. Small, light, good price, has all the hardware I need and I can play games on it. Cool beans. I found a good price on the internet, put in my info, ordered it before their cut off time of the day for shipment and life was good right? Apparently not.

See despite buying 3 laptops off the internet previously over the last few years, I didn't realize that buying a laptop on the internet was a more uncomfortable and stringent process than going through airport security with an I heart Al Queda t-shirt on. First I got a call that the order was on hold because they needed verbal verification. Okey fine. Everything good? Yes? Now the order will go out right? No! Next I get an email. The place needs me to fax or email from scans copies of my drivers license, the front and back of my credit card used, a form they wanted filled out and signed, a blood and urine sample and of course naming rights to my first born child should I ever have one.

I didn't even get that email till after their shipment cut off for the day so I figured well, I guess it'll be delayed by a day. I sent it all off, even the urine sample and figured okey, it'll go out the next day right? No! Apparently they refused to send it to my address. Wierd huh? I had to come up with a different address because they said that my addresss was too close to a commercial area. Have you ever heard such nonsense? So I guess they don't sell to businesses then. So I gave them a friend's address which obviously doesn't match the billing address so I'm confident they'll come back to me tommorow and give me more reasons why they can't sell me a product.

At this point I may or may not have a new computer by Monday. Good thing too because I'm not sure that this one I have now can make it that long based on the noises it's making and frankly, I'm pretty sure that hitting it every ten minutes really isn't an effective way to fix it.

Maliia's Mechanical Conspiracy

I sometimes wonder if there's a mechanical conspiracy against me. Everything will be just fine for I don't know how long and then BAM! All of the sudden things start breaking down. It's all at once too and it's generally completely unrelated items.

First, you may recall a few days ago I was bitching because my laptop was starting to have some trouble. It's only getting worse too. Now the harddrive is making all kinds of clanking and clattering noises. I'm thinking that this isn't normal and it's not going to fix itself. As a matter of fact, the noises are steadily getting louder and louder and lasting for longer and longer periods of time. To my credit I have found that banging the laptop seems to quiet the hard drive noise down a bit, but I'm thinking that solution is very quickly going to become counter productive. You might be sitting there thinking why doesn't the little slant eyed slut just go get it fixed. Well, this one is like two and a half years old, it has trouble running a lot of the newer software and frankly, I think the cost of a new drive would probably equal the value of the computer at this point. Luckily I have started researching new laptops as you know, I've narrowed it down to three. A Toshiba, An HP and an Acer and unless someone has nightmare stories to share about HP, that might be the one I go with because it looks like I get the most value for the money plus a three year warranty instead of one year like the other two. See, if I had that kind of warranty on this thing I could just get it fixed and voila, no problem.

My point though isn't to bitch about my laptop because I've already dedicated two previous posts to that and come on, enough already. No, it's everything else. For example, my TV remote stopped working yesterday. Seriously. It's not the battery either. And I have no head for fixing things. I'm not handy. I need handy people around me. It's the only way I can survive in this world. I'm so far behind the curve that by the time I figured out how to program my VCR, everyone was using DVD recordable and now that I've figured that out its on to DVR and Tivo. It's like I'm running five years behind everyone. No wonder I keep missing the winning lottery numbers.

It's not just electronics though. My toilet has been leaky for days now. Not the leaky out on the floor kind which would be gross and messy but rather the thing where you flush it and it fills back up and then in the tank it just keeps spitting out water. I know this is because the floater thingie isn't coming all the way up the way it should and is getting stuck just below where it needs to be, but I have no idea how to fix it and honestly, I'm not sure I want to. Okey, I'm told water in the tank isn't dirty really but still, its a toilet! The only kind of toilet I want to mess around with is the human kind who will kneel under me and open their mouths while I pee all over them. Big surprise! Maliia is into pee play. Okey, I know it's not everyone's thing but it is mine so there you go. I'll have to talk about that another time though.

My Jeep is also starting to give me some trouble. It hasn't officially broken down yet but there are noises and complaints. It is almost 10 years old though but its low mileage and hasn't broken down unexpectedly for almost 9 years so that's not bad. I take care of it but still, I have to wonder as my stuff gets older, whether its my toilet, my remote, my computer or my car, just how much work I'm going to have to start putting into this stuff. I'm starting to miss the days when everything was ubiquitous and could be totally counted on to work. Turn on the computer, turn on the ignition, flush the toilet, no problem. I didn't even think about it you know, I just pressed the button and life was good. Now I have to deal with the problems.

I've believed that to a degree, there is planned obsolesence built into products. After all, if everything never broke down, you'd never need to buy a new one except in cases where your thing got stolen or the new thing just totally has better features or whatever. Maybe that's another reason everything wears out. Imagine of the parts in a car never wore out or did so like way way out in the future. The parts industry might not be able to sell as much stuff and of course raising the price on those replacement parts that last forever to the degree necessary to make up for it just wouldn't make sense. I think people would start to look at walking as a real alternative which given the obesity problem in the U.S., might not be such a bad idea actually.

Of course all this equipment breaking down may also be a metaphor for myself. Yes I am a young, healthy and very cute girl right now, but I am getting older. I don't think I ever fully appreciate how good I feel 99% of the time and it's only when I get sick or hurt that I start to miss the days when everything about my body worked perfectly. What has me concerned of course is that as I get older, my parts will no doubt wear out more easily and give me all kinds of problems and then I really will miss the days when it was just hopping out of bed without thinking about how my body feels and going off and doing whatever I want. Unfortunately, unlike my laptop which can be replaced with a newer model, I'm kind of stuck with this body and while I might be able to get it repaired or even get parts replaced from time to time, selling it on Ebay and buying a newer, faster and better model that is still under warranty just isn't going to happen. That being the case, i guess I should enjoy it while it's working great and appreciate it while I've got it. If that's not an arguement for continuing to enjoy all the fun and sex I have in my time, I don't know what is!

Sounds To Annoy The Neighbors By

Sometimes I just love to scream as loud as I can when I'm being fucked hard. There's something about trying to hold it in and control myself that gets in the way of really releasing my orgasm and letting it go. If I really feel like screaming but I hold it, then it gets a little harder to release (though still very easy for me because of course I'm a little three hole slut who cums very easily) but seriously, if I'm being fucked really hard and really well, whether in my pussy or my ass, I can scream like someone is being murdered. Oddly, othertimes I can cum very easily just dirty talking, especially if the sex is good but not particularly rough or hard. You know, I'll talk my way through it which usually the guy likes anyway but a lot of its for me because I like to make myself say the words and be forced to hear them too. I'll say things like "oh fuck my tight little pussy harder" and then I might start doing a little verbal degradation on myself in the process like "I'm your little whore, fuck me, I'm such a cocksucking oriental fucktoy for you". See, it's good for me, it's good for him, everyone wins! By the way, the same method works whether I'm being fucked by a guy or by a girl with a strapon and while things do tend to be more intense when I'm being fucked in my ass, I tend to get very into things depending how its going regardless of whether it is my little wet pussy or my tight ass that's being stuffed.

So the whole thing about the screaming was that for a while I've lived in multi-family residential buildings. You know, renting apartments, condos, whatever. Now maybe my neighbors enjoy hearing me getting my brains fucked and the sounds of floggers against my skin when I'm at home and getting whipped, which does happen sometimes and some of those crops and floggers make a seriously loud noise, but I'm guessing they really would rather not have to listen to it. See, this is the downside of living near people and being a very loud nympho slut.

I felt bad about it for a while until I realized that my neighbors have caused me just as much inconvenience. Not with anything they did directly but it seems like everywhere I go, there's always construction in the building and the noise really carries and vibrates throughout. I don't know why, maybe I'm just a construction magnet, but if I move to a new place, I guarantee that within a few weeks a unit above or below or next to me will start remodeling and the entire day, everyday will be nothing but hammering, banging and other really disturbing noises.

It even happens when it's not my house at all. I did a favor for a friend (who in turn did me a favor too) by house sitting for him. He had a gorgeous condo in a luxury high rise building in Westwood, I was pretty much between places so how could I turn it down. All I had to do was feed his cat, water his plants and forward his mail to him once a week over to Europe where he was working. I was there for a month, and a week after I went in guess what? The next door neighbors decided to completely redo their hardwood floors. So I had three weeks of what can only be described as jackhammering as they removed the old floor followed by constant banging, sawing and more hammering as they put in the new one. It was so loud that literally the place vibrated during the jackhammering and I couldn't talk on the phone because I couldn't even hear my own voice. I couldn't do any work on my computer because it's hard to think with such a loud distraction in your brain. As beautiful as the place was, I couldn't wait to get out of there and it's really too bad because it would have been nice for me.

I've since moved a couple of times and I moved to my current place which is a condo in Santa Monica that I rent and it's pretty nice. Construction has been on and off over the last year that I've lived here but a lot more has recently started so as I sit here typing away at this entry, my thoughts are competing with a constant hammering, sawing and the occasional sound of something dropping followed by what sounds like a loud "oh shit!" As long as those words aren't followed further by something like "Run! Get out of the building!", I'm not going to panic too much.

So now I'm thinking that I should feel free to scream and yell as much as I want. If I have to endure the sounds of my neighbors jackhammering, sawing and occasionally setting the building on fire, then surely they should endure the sounds of me having cocks and dildos shoved in my mouth, pussy and tight little ass and of me screaming in orgasm. I know if I were those neighbors, I would take the sex sounds over construction any day of the week!

Bondage, Fetish and Physical Fitness

I've been having some trouble sleeping lately. I think I have too much on my mind. Last Friday I tossed and turned until like five and I finally gave up. By six I decided to go up to Malibu and do some surfing. I fell asleep that night though pretty easily but no wonder. Then Saturday morning I woke up super early again, lots of stuff on my mind and I just couldn't fall asleep again. I think I'm getting over it now though because I fell asleep pretty easily last night and slept in a little today. Of course now I have to go to the gym and exercise which believe it or not is fun for me. I love to do physical activity because I feel so good afterwards. Maybe that's another reason why I like sex so much. It's not only physically active so I get to feeling good from that, but hey, its sex you know? It does feel good and its the most fun!

The nice thing about bondage is that in a way, it's also exercise. I get stretched into all kinds of wierd positions that I have to hold for, well however long I have to hold it for. Let's face it, when you're locked up or hanging or whatever, you don't have much choice. It's good to build up some muscle and flexibility and then you can have endurance and be better able to physically handle it. That's one of the things I see a lot is people have a fantasy about being in bondage for long periods of time, but their bodies aren't used to it and so its not just that they can feel sore for a few days after, but they can actually do some damage. It's like running a marathon you know? You have to build up to it. First you're suspended or hogtied for twenty minutes. Then go to forty and an hour or whatever. I can do some pretty long suspensions by my arms now and hogties don't bother me so much although my legs usually end up falling asleep on me after a while.

I feel sorry for the girls with big breasts who like breast bondage though. I've seen some at parties who were suspended in party by their tits. It's very cool to watch though. Their tits balloon up and are squeezed through their restraints, popping and bulging and turning purplish. You can't do this kind of suspension for very long, it's just not safe, but even a few minutes of it I'm sure would be agony. I guess in that respect I'm lucky that my tits are so small it would be impossible to even come close to suspending me by them.

There are other areas where physical fitness can help in bondage. If you're a dominant who likes to whip or spank, hey that kind of repetative motion can get tiring after a while, but if you've built up good arm strength and have good cardio going, then you should be able to handle it fine. I know if I'm suspended, sometimes when I'm put up or taken down I need to be held and brought down. Now I'm less than 100 pounds so its not a big deal to do that for me but if you're a heavier girl (and there are quite a few in the bdsm scene) or you're a dominant girl doing that with a man, well that's going to be more challenging.

I'm not sure how I started babbling about how physical fitness and bondage play interact, but I think I've said all I can about it and so now I'm just writing to see more words on the screen. I think that's a pretty good indication that its time to put down the fingers and walk away from the keyboard.

Pope Don't Come, but Maliia Can!

You know the pope went to Turkey a few days ago. I was reading an article about how a lot of the Turkish people were protesting in the streets shouting "Pope don't come" and I thought it was really nice of them to support and encourage his vows of chastity like that. Especially when you consider that they guy probably has a backup of over seventy years worth of supply.

Speaking of cum, I love to have orgasms. Do you like the way I transitioned from talking about the Pope to my orgasms? Very skillful huh? Anyway, I have them every chance I get and frankly, I've always been able to cum very easily and many times. Maybe that's why I love sex so much and I'm such a naughty little whore. I think most women probably don't cum nearly as easily as I do and some don't cum at all. I'm pretty sure that those women who find it harder or impossible to orgasm don't find sex nearly as important or valuable as I do. In addition to cumming easily, I also get wet easily. Seriously, just a touch or a word can get my little pussy totally juicing. I guess if you take the point of view that everyone was created for a given purpose, the fact that I have such a huge sex drive combined with how easily I get wet and how easily I cum all seems to point to the fact that being a little fucktoy is definately my calling.

I don't think I've ever faked an orgasm. I've had a few times when it just didn't happen for me. There can be a lot of reasons why I might not orgasm though incuding stress, lack of sleep, alcohol and the big one for me, if I've cum a lot in the last day or so already, then it starts to get a little more difficult. If it doesn't happen for me then I'm okey with that but I don't want to fake it because that turns the whole sexual act into just a performance rather than an enjoyable event. Sure, it can be argued that in the whole mating dance big picture, we're all acting to one degree or another, either to get someone into bed even once we're there, that we know what we're doing.

Some women who have a lot of trouble cumming though do fake their orgasms. There's a lot of reasons for this as you can imagine. Sometimes like it was said on the Seinfeld show a while back, it's enough already and you just want to get some sleep. I feel like this sometimes when I'm with someone who doesn't quite have a good skill level and he's pounding away at me like I'm an oil well or something. At some point you just want to say okey, let's just move on. Actually, my thought in that situation when I'm laying on my back and a guy is pushing into me like he's digging up pavement is that I wish this guy would just go ahead and cum so we can be done with this. I guess I'm fortunate that I don't hit that situation very often. Most of the time the guys I end up with are pretty good in bed and have good skills and creativity. It doesn't happen often to me that I get a dud but you know, you drive enough cars and you're bound to get a bad one every once in a while. Same with men. You fuck enough of them and every once in a while you'll hit one who just isn't quite getting it done right.

Some girls find it easier just to get themselves off but they're self conscious about doing it front of someone else or maybe they think their lover will take it as an insult that he can't get her off and she needs a couple of C batteries and a toy to do it. See, that's where the issue really sets in though, faking an orgasm to spare someone else's feelings. Here's the thing that I need to emphasize more than anything. Just because a girl fakes an orgasm, that doesn't mean that the guy did a bad job. As I said before, there's a lot of reasons why a girl might not be able to cum at that time and her reason for doing the fake, which I personally don't do but I understand the thought, might be because she cares about the guy or his feelings and wants for him to feel good. Everyone likes to feel good, right?

So, its true that a girl faking her orgasm doesn't necessarily mean that the guy did a bad job, he may have done a great job but if the girl was me, maybe she already got fucked ten times in the last twenty-four hours and has had so many orgasms already that she'd need a professor from Cal Tech to figure out the total. Just as that's true, the opposite is true too. Just because a girl has an orgasm, that doesn't mean the guy did a good job. Now this is one I have a lot of experience with. I practically cum when a breeze hits me just the right way, so let's face it, I'm easy to please and a guy doesn't have to be a great lover or have great technique or experience or whatever to make me cum. Chances are, if I haven't had sex in a day and I'm even moderately turned on, it'll happen for me. Certainly if the guy is highly skilled or we're doing something really exciting like I'm in bondage or being humiliated at the time or whatever, then not only will my orgasms be significantly stronger and harder and last longer, but I'll have more of them. Still, the guy who thinks he's drilling an oil well between my legs could still get me off, but that doesn't mean he's any good. Nevertheless, the second situation certainly makes the guys feel pretty good about themselves. You know, they can feel like hey they're great lovers because they got me off. Yeah, that's a big feat. You're fucking a girl who has days when she practically cums thinking dirty thoughts of Spongebob Squarepants and you're patting yourself on the back that five minutes of pounding her made her cum. Woo woo! The problem with this is that if the guy thinks his technique or lack thereof is getting the girl off then he won't have any motivation or understanding of the need to improve.

Personally I'm all about being pro-active and improving myself. If I'm not 100% perfect, that leaves room for getting better. I know some people take the attitude that if its good enough to work, then leave it alone, but not me! I consider myself to be a very good little cocksucker for example. I'm the girl you told jokes about in high school who could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. I don't know if I'd do that, but believe me, I'm a girl who's got skills. Still, I learn new techniques and ways of doing things all the time so I always try to improve my game. Of course I do have one advantage which is as a girl, when I'm with a guy I pretty much know when he's excited and I know when he cums. It's really obvious and it's very difficult, though not impossible, for him to fake it. Believe me, when my little brown face is covered in sticky white cum, I know he at least orgasmed. Of course the one thing I don't know is if he came all over my face because I was just that good, or if it was because he'd cum if a strong enough wind came up. In that case, I guess us girls may have something in common with the boys after all.